The Missing Link

THE MISSING LINK

Everyone should do something good to the best they can. What I do is cry. It started when I was born when I slipped out of the doctors hands and bounced off the ceiling, landing with a splat on my mothers belly. First my father fainted. Then the nurse fainted. Finally the doctor fainted. My mother started to cry. HELLO WORLD. I guess that is what you do here. So I cry. Boy, can I cry. I can make a roomful of the happiest people start bawling and they don’t know why. Let me give you an example. I walked by a delivery room at the moment a beautiful baby was born perfect. Relatives, nurses, doctors and of course the dad started wailing their eyes out and handed the baby to a panicked filled mother who thought she had just given birth to the anti Christ.

Happy New Year. It’s hard blowing those whistles when your sobbing away. I once went to a comic festival and all the comics now sell water products, Fuller brush, skin care door to door shell shocked and depressed. My dream was to become a news anchor but when I read the news I started bawling. So I thought I could be a preacher. Well the bible is not the funniest book you will ever read and the sad stories people tell you, well you know the rest. I tried being a DJ I was doing great till a news bulletin interrupted my flow and I started bawling so loud people panicked. They thought world war three was on. A comet was about to strike. Everybody had lost their dog. The beer has been contaminated. Needless to say I didn’t last. I tried golf. Every time somebody missed a shot I cried. Nobody believed that I was rooting for them. No one believed that I was their friend. Then one day I was at the doctors office and he had a grim look, I was about to bawl when he said Tom I have some very bad news. You are dying. And for the first time I didn’t cry. I felt peace at last. Thank you god you let me feel the grace of the losers in the race and I was blessed all along. Tom died laughing. And to all the losers in the race Tom just wanted you to know that you are not alone. You are blessed and walk with Christ.