The Memoirs of a Stunt Daredevil Who Never Figured it Out

 

I published this after seeing a show about a guy who wanted to wrestle a wild grizzly bear in its enviorment to prove he could survive.

MEMOIRS OF A STUNT DAREDEVIL WHO NEVER FIGURED IT OUT

Have you ever tried eating soup with a fork? Okay before any half wit out there start devising a solution to the Fork-Soup delima–FORGET ABOUT IT. It’s a waste of time.I know I’ve wasted years and a lot of weight. Another time waster is eating jello with a hammer. All you do is break a hell of a lot of fingers. I’ve broken fourteen of mine and knocked Wally useless twice. And the guy who says you can eat rice with a boomarang can kiss my ass. I have only one tooth left and my mouth is eight inches wider than normal after the four thousand stitches over the years. I make the joker look normal.And I still have no idea what rice tastes like.I do get the odd craving for boomarang.Knife throwers same deal. Nuts.And that guy whose dream is to wrestle a grizzly bear. I QUIT.